The unbearable pain of moving on
Dealing with loss and grief is hard and happens at its own pace
When we experience a loss it can be hard to move on with our lives. This loss might come in the form of losing a person that we love or suddenly finding the career we’ve poured our heart and soul into being torn away from us. It can even be having someone we loved working with suddenly depart. The suddenness of it happening can feel like an assault on our very sense of self.
We feel lost and can easily enter into a cycle of self doubt and self loathing because, deep down, we know that grief is a selfish act. When we lose a person we initially frame it in terms of the hole in our lives and our impotence in being able to prevent that loss. When we lose a career we frame it in terms our inadequacy and insecurity about the future. When faced with these feelings everyone reacts differently.
In some cases, we were ready to move on anyway and it can come as a relief. When my father died a couple of years back the overwhelming feeling was relief. He’d been seriously ill with various cancers, diabetes, COPD, and high blood pressure for nearly 10 years and his quality of life had dropped precipitously. He couldn’t answer his front door without needing oxygen and a 15 minute rest. That doesn’t mean I don’t dream about him (and mum), waking up crying. But, I knew and had known for some…
